he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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