when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
