I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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