HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
This is classic penis vs brain.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
