you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
