just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We have started to decorate penises.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
