Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Plan B is the new Plan A
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
