I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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