Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
