I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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