are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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