got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
