I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize