she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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