party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
