turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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