you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
