Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
