Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
