i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
