He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
