so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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