wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
