he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
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Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
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Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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