You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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