I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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