So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
