I didn't shave. On purpose
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
