feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
