but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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