Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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