6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
