is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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