Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
