There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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