it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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