Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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