He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
