Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
