I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize