I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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