I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He did a backflip because drugs
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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