Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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