What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
