if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I AM VODKA MAN
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
