Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
