I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
