i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize