You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
