i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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