and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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