I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
