he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
