dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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