Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
