shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
