"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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