Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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