Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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