you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
