Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
