i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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