I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
