So drunk its hurt
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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