You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
