i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
