THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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