He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
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I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
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I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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