But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
