Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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